BitterSweet Monthly: An Education in Joy

“There’s joy everywhere if you look for it,” says Margaret Creighton, President and CEO of Positive Tomorrows. “There’s also misery everywhere if you look for it. It depends on your mindset, and it depends on how you show up every day.”

We are sitting in the school’s library while the bright, Oklahoma City sun illuminates everything through the windows and glass walls. From my vantage point, I can look to my right out onto the playground, where, earlier in the day, an errant soccer ball ricocheted off the window and back into a crowd of smiling, running children. To my left, on the bookshelf, there is a votive candle beside an image, not of an ancient saint, but of Mr. Rogers.

“The best part about being here is celebrating joy. Big or small, it doesn’t matter, right?” Margaret continues. She then walks me through several joyous scenarios, snapshots of her life at Positive Tomorrows.

…the student who is sitting in her office, reading a book for the first time.

…the student who is thrilled they could finally climb to the top of the playground equipment.

…the student who scored a goal in soccer.

…the student whose mom got her driver’s license.

…the student who runs up to their case manager and asks, “Did we get that apartment?” The case manager replies, “Yes! We’re going to see it later. I’ll take you right after school, and we’ll meet your mom there!”

Merrie Smith never planned on homelessness. She had certainly tried everything else. Growing up in an abusive environment, she ran away from home when she turned eighteen. She eventually married and had two children, but her marriage proved to be a continuation of the abuse of her childhood.

Meanwhile, her youngest, John, was growing into an intelligent, energetic kid. Unfortunately, he did not know how to channel that energy. Merrie wasn’t the only family member experiencing domestic violence. Abuse isolated him. He struggled to relate to others and himself. Sometimes, he would grow so frustrated that he would hit his head against the wall.

Within her small circle, Merrie repeatedly reached out for help, but they either did not know how to help or, worse, they didn’t believe her. Once again, Merrie had to chart her own path, not just for herself this time but also for her children.

Merrie drew on a mindset she developed in childhood: Rather than wait for ideal scenarios, she would do the best she could with what she had. She did not know how things would turn out for them when they left. Would anyone be there to help? Regardless, anything had to be better than their current situation. She didn’t have much, but she would make the most of it. Merrie and her children took a leap of faith and left home.

Within days she discovered a network of organizations waiting to help, including the YWCA, where she connected with a counselor. Exhausted, Merrie explained one of her biggest unknowns: John’s schooling. She had homeschooled him for years, not by choice, and he desperately needed socialization and specialized care. The counselor gave her a single task for the day: Call Positive Tomorrows…

Read the full story on BitterSweet Monthly.